um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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