More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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