When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
