Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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