R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
