Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
