Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
