Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
