well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
