This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
