I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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