im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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