I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
