I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize