I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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