i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
