we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
