These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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