we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
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Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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