ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
