Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
foreskin is a definite game changer
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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