I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late