you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
They took my balls.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.