everyone is single if you try hard enough
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
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Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.