Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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