I'm really into asian looking animals
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
