They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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