i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
