Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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