is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
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Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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