tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
