We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
