Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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