Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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