guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize