sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
