Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
