**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
