its not stalking. its research.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
