Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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