Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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