I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
