She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ugly people sure do ruin things
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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