U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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