wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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