someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
