no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
