I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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