Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
They took my balls.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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