How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
