Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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