thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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