is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Farmville is her only friend.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
