Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
