jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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