All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
