They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
