is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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