I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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