I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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